Time heals all.

...or so I always realize after the time passes. This is something I can never truly put into perspective during a time of sorrow. My tears haven't spilled like they did yesterday, so I feel my healing process has already begun.

Harley 2011

Yesterday, I had to put my beloved pet, Harley, to sleep. He had been sick for some time now and we just could not afford the expensive treatment he needed. I did my best to do what I could, but his condition progessively worsened. Just in the past week, to the point that he could no longer get himself up off the floor. It absolutely broke my heart to see him like that. I was in tears all day Friday, trying to figure out what to do. My husband was out in the field for who-knows-how-long, so it was just me and my 21 month old son. I finally found a Vet a few towns over that would help me, without charging. (The whole mess that led up to me having to call to find someone to help my poor animal, rather than the vet I had taken him to, is a whole 'nother story and aside from the hurt of losing my dog of 9 years, I am LIVID.) The clinic staff and doctor were kind and gracious and I will never be able to thank them enough for that.

A little less than a year and a half prior, my other pup, Hugger, was hit by a car. I was devastated and would cry daily for a week when I didn't have her barks and jumps to come home to. She was so unbelievably hyper! But she was so fun and brought so much laughter, especially when she and Harley would get going playing together. I had found her 5 years before walking the streets; and as soon as I brought her home, those two were inseparable.

Hugger 2008

Harley, myself, Hugger 2008

 

With Hugger, I did not have a choice. She was taken from me. With Harley, I had to make the painful decision to end his suffering. Holding my precious pup while he left this world was probably the hardest thing I have ever had to do thus far. I cannot even fathom something happening to my son. Harley was my first "child" and I am thankful that I had those last few precious moments with him, to tell him I loved him and would see him later. He has been such a wonderful companion, so sweet and loving. Great with children and had been through all of my ups and downs, staying right by my side. Our home is no longer the same not being able to see his sweet face.

I know we did what is best for him but that doesn't make it hurt any less. I can only hope it truly is "see you later".

-mk