Just one of those days.

I am trying to justify paying $90/week for daycare for our son. My husband obviously works full-time. I have cut my hours down to part time because my body simply can't take the 32+ hours per week standing on my feet. "You should sit as often as possible" my doctor says. Yeah right. It's a convenience store, lady. Up, down, up, down, ALL day. It is absolutely pointless to sit when there are only two cashiers and we have to ring out customers as well as keep an entire store clean and stocked. Sit? What is that? If I take the time to sit and eat a bite of food, I get angry customers shouting at me that there should be a manager there, they shouldn't have to wait that long in line, blah blah blah.

And all this for minimum wage. Most of that wage going to pay the sitter $360 per month. Worth it? I think not. But my husband seems to be able to justify it, so I continue at the crappy job.

All this seriously makes me consider opening my home and starting a small daycare with a few kids. Or am I crazy?

Mothers are definitely strong. We take care of almost everything. House work, laundry, dinner, entertaining a toddler, snacks, errands, groceries, occasionally I sneak some sewing time in, baths.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my family. However, sometimes I miss the days of only having to worry about myself. I had a full-time job AND a part-time job, for fun money. I could go out when ever I wished. I could sleep when ever I wished. Stop in Starbucks for coffee without having to keep my eye on my toddler. Stop by the grocery store to pick up a few things for dinner that night without having a screaming kid in a cart. I had friends. I didn't have to play single-mom during the weeks of my husband's field exercises.

I know there are Dads out there that do it all, too. Kudos to you! 

I know, I know. I'm a part of a bigger, better picture now. I get that. And most days, I love it. It's only human to reminisce about things. I think a part of me just wishes I had taken the time before becoming a mother and wife to build a career and not be stuck working a minimum wage job. That part of my life, believe me, I know is my own fault. I never took the time to think about the bigger picture back then.